♥ My Complicated Life

♥ Wednesday, September 16, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

Misses

It's miraculously unbelievable... I had the honour of spending the happiest, touching & most unforgettable birthday. Yes, it's my 25th birthday, a quarter of a century when i had stayed alive in this revolving world. I know it's almost a month's late for this post, nonetheless i would still like to relive & keep this lovely memories alive in my heart & my mind. 25 yrs of my life journey, i would say it wasn't easy at all... the downs time i had are so much more than my ups time and i realised it's a very simple word that caused most of my down periods.. " LOVE"

" LOVE" should or could have been a beautiful & touching word, yet i think i had misinterpreted it for the past 25 yrs of my life... That's damn bad for a person whom used a quarter of her life figuring out the meaning.. till now i haven't grasp the meaning yet, and am still trying hard... Hopefully someday, just someday i would be enlightened... I guess i am savouring it somehow... There are alot more to be done for this 4 letters yet with bombastic meaning... =)

Life been pretty hectic & crazy for me the past 1 month... Though tired yet meaningful, letting go of something isn't easy but once you had let go... you would walk like a breeze, i'm smiling now more than ever... I'm happy now with what i have, and i had mustered the courage to leave him a message, though his return msg is cold and normal but i had did my part... so i'm pretty much alright, it wasn't that easy to face up to the fact....

I had great friends around me, though seldom contact i took up the initative to try to like keep in touch with them... I had lost 2, and i don't want to lose anymore of them.. Sometimes though busy, a message of greeting warms up the heart.. Life is as simply as that, i wished i had realised that much much much earlier!!!! What to do, that's life not all times people can see as clearly as they thought so.... i'm evolving, i wanna be that someone not anyone's shadow but just me, as everyone is unique, once i breached trust and it's hard to trust my words but i am human, i do err... What's important is that i want and will not repeat again.. Give me a chance to start afresh and i am treating pple using my heart now, not said in the past i don't, but i had been blinded before....

For the rest of my remaining days in life, give me a chance to start anew, afresh... a crack is always a crack it would not be erased, the only difference is to mend and minimise the gap of the crack.. Sometimes not doing anything beats to doing something, as long as i kept it close to my heart... There's never enough words to describe my feelings, cause it's hard to let it out when you're in my shoes... I would not procastinate anymore, but go on living life to my fullest in my capability... i guess that enough, put down all the unhappiness and pain... in life, what matters most is i am contented & happy.. And never give up on hope... Though the more you hope, there might be more disappointments... disappointments can be accepted but once you live without hope, life is meaningless.. I once did, but now i won't anymore because after 1 down, the next would always be an up... To fall or fail is small matter, what's worse is to fall and not able to get up... I thought i would never be able to get up, though i took a long & hard route i still manage to get up... And the next time i fall, you will see me getting up faster cause i never want history to repeat itself ever again.. that's a promise made to myself that i'll keep as much as the promise of not smoking ever in my life.... i had tried a few puffs, of course that is to experience it but it's not nice.. i meant it..

Alright, got to mug and complete my project today.... I miss beach, but i can't go tomorrow cause i'm going for my pool diving sessions tomorrow hurray... I'm leaving for Tioman next weekend... By then, pple... =))) =PPppP

Labels: A memory to last for a lifetime..

♥ My World My Life Stories

17:31

♥ Monday, August 17, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

Fragments of life...

I haven't been blogging for quite a couple of weeks... Life has been torrentous for me, the past weeks... One week i had a brush with H1N1, yes i was ill for a whole 7 days with high fever running & symptons of H1N1 for 6 days.. and 2 doctors' visit... had 39.4 deg celsius of fever for 4 consecutive days... When doctor diagnosed me with H1N1, i thought to myself, oh shit i had just begin to treasure life more, does that means i would not have the chance? I had twice thought and attempted to end my life... yet when i finally wanna lead and treasure my life with no more regrets,i am so afraid i would not get the chance? Thank god, i recovered, but right after i recovered, my house was hit with a funeral.. My Step-dad's mum passed away in our house last wed... which i witnessed the life slipped away right before my eyes... She passed away peacefully with her beloved son watching her go.. Everything happened so fast that it hit the step dad so hard... I believe the loss of his mother made him shed his tears into his heart because i saw his eyes reddened yet he controlled his tears...

Tomorrow ( Monday) we would be sending her off for the last journey of her life.. Having lived for 80 years being a great grand mother and 4 generations living together, the granny is considered a lucky woman... not easy and lucky to be able to witness 4 generations... Her passing on really make me feel that life is indeed so fragile, and that to live everyday to the fullest and do whatever it takes to fulfill your dreams, regrets that already had been in your life, keep it in heart to remind you never to let it happen again and for the rest of our remaining life, to not and never create more regrets...

It's easy typing it or even saying it... But i made myself this vow that i would do whatever i can to not have anymore regrets and to live my remaining years fulfiiling my dreams and whatever i wanna do... Because you'll never know when life would slip away... Tomorrow is a brand new day... Smile and live it on, no matter how tough, because it gets tougher day by day...

Labels: Life...

♥ My World My Life Stories

00:46

♥ Wednesday, July 22, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

Smile - Charlie Chaplin

Smile tho'your heart is aching,

Smile Even though it's breaking,

When there are clouds in the sky-

You'll get by,

If youSmile

through your fear and sorrow,

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through-

For you.

Light up your face with gladness,

Hide ev'ry trace of sadness,

Altho' a tear may be ever so near,

That's the time you must keep on trying,

Smile- What's the use of crying,

You'll find that life is still worthwhile,

If you just smile.

Labels: Smile....

♥ My World My Life Stories

19:33

♥ Tuesday, July 21, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

LIFETIME DEATH SENTENCE....

Sometimes one just don't deserve a second chance, condemned....

Sometimes when one thought is truth, it is actually lies, when one thought is lies, they're actually truth....

Once a liar, always a liar... Even it is truth, it would turn out to be lies bcuz it's from a liar's mouth...

A leopard would never change it spots, never be condoned...

Some pple's feelings are treated with respect and care, some's feelings just cannot be bothered with even if they're hurt umpteen times but swallowed in quietly...

No one's perfect, tat's the truth... But some imperfections just ain't enough to cover this sentence...

Turn over a new leaf is nvr a sentence for a liar...

Explaining is considered as hiding and giving excuses... Don't explain is considered as admitting that one's at fault when the truth lies in somewhere no one would bother revealing & uncovering....

In this world, who doesn't want to have the best positive image? When one's ugly side is revealed, everyone only focus on the bad and dark side but never the once good & Bright side...

' Once' this word is a very cruel word... I Once had few close best frens, i Once had the best life surrounded by loved ones,i was Once part of their lifes, I Once had the best of both worlds, i was Once happy... the only thing that would change is I was Once Hurt, this would come on over and over again... When one sentence starts off with' Once' it had a meaning tat it would never come again... and that's true in a way as it's all starting to reveal....

Once broken, there would be a crack, who would wants to live with a crack.... But Life always have a crack, only difference whether the crack is being disguised with best effort... Sometimes, not doing anything beats to doing something, when done there's a chance of ruining it and worsen it.... But by not doing and remains in silence, no one would ever know the outcome...

Slowly fading off...

我的难过是如此低调, 因为不想打扰,我的悲伤是如此低调, 傻子才会哭闹...

Labels: Lifetime Death sentence..

♥ My World My Life Stories

23:07

♥ Monday, July 6, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

"Sorry" seems to be the hardest word...

Yesterday, i was watching Channel 56, "超级星光大道5" this taiwanese singing competition program.. The theme of the competition last night was"我的主题歌 " songs that depicts the competitors' life stories.... Everything was well, for all the competitors, until this competitor came onto stage.... She's 徐永琳, one of the top singers in 5班, nice & powerful vocals... Before she starts her song, the host, 陶子 interview about her choice of song... She chose 林晓培's " 心动 ... The reason behind her choice of song is because she once possess a very great friendship... Three of them ( 1 ger and 1 boy) since primary school... However,due to they 3 all chose different secondary schools to go to, they drifted apart from each other and have never talked to one another for 5 years.. They left their friendship stagnant and chose their newly acquainted frens and new life...

Till the day, she managed to buck her courage and call her fren... She found out that the guy has met with a mishap... And all she can do is to keep him in her heart.... Tears run down my cheeks that moment... 2 persons came up to my mind, while the contestant was singing... tears stream down uncontrollably.... And when the judges console her... i realise that's quite true, it does not matter and not too late to do whatever you can to apologise... Even if the other party does not accept.... as long as you do your part even if it's silently and secretly.... I came across one song which i think the lyrics are quite meaningful, i would post it up later... I guess, for the 2 persons whom i have let down, i hope for their everyday to be happy and meaningful owaes....

心动 - 林晓培

有多久没见你

以为你在那里

原来就住在我的心底

陪伴着我的呼吸

有多远的距离

以为闻不到你的气息

谁知道你背影这么长

回头就看到你

过去让它过去来不及

从头喜欢你

白云缠绕着蓝天

如果不能够永远走在一起

也至少给我们怀念的勇气

拥抱的权利

让你明白我心动的痕迹

过去让它过去来不及

从头喜欢你

白云缠绕着蓝天

如果不能够永远都在一起

也至少给我们怀念的勇气

拥抱的权利

好让你明白我心动的痕迹

总是想再见你

还试着打探你的消息

原来你就住在我的身体

守护我的回忆

Anyway, here's some outdated updates.... Went to Sab's wedding last 2 sundays.. hahaha.... The wedding was nice, and i was so touched when i saw Sab.... So happy for her, and of course seeing Kai and Alvin... We've lost touch somehow... Nonetheless, we promised to organise a gathering of the Balarians soon.. Lol i came up with the word last min in my mind.. Keke... And few of the Teambuilding photos which i would like to put them up here... = ).... This company i worked for is really making me love yet hate at the same time.. Haiz... What to do.. I guess everywhere's the same but it not easy to find one company that provides you with the Love-Hate relationship.. Lol... But i'm glad i met a few good pple and frens here...

Called Ying this morning, heard from her that one of her polymates passed away during National Service.. And it happened that Guan knew him as well.. He's only 21, where i believe it's the beginning of One's adulthood... He missed it, even before he can savour life... Life's indeed fragile, unpredictable and never fair.... God Bless the young man.... Oh ya, i heard Love news from Bee Bee... Finally she changed her status.. SO happy & Glad for her... It's nice to see and hear your frens all found their the other half and living in blissfulness... Bee.. Jiayou.... !!! Yao XIng fu Oh.. =)))

低调 - 张栋梁

嬉笑打闹拥抱

留下了那么多开心合照

互相取暖依靠

熬过了最低潮

一起生活也一起埋怨过

走过最好与最糟

我在心里想的不用说明

你知道

晨昏日夜颠倒

这房子突然没从前热闹

散落一地微笑

没有人去打扫

感情很微妙

再多付出也好

再多关心都徒劳

爱从来就没有固定的轨道

它最后停在哪里谁知道

我的难过是如此低调

因为不想打扰

我在寂寞的墙角

努力的对自己好

你用微笑回报

朋友或情人不重要

我的悲伤是如此低调

傻子才会哭闹

就算你发现也好

我想你一定会选择

假装不知道

只怕我自己的掩饰不够好

晨昏日夜颠倒

这房子突然没从前热闹

散落一地微笑

没有人去打扫

感情很微妙

再多付出也好

再多关心都徒劳

爱从来就没有固定的轨道

它最后停在哪里谁知道

我的难过是如此低调

因为不想打扰

我在寂寞的墙角

努力的对自己好

你用微笑回报

朋友或情人不重要

我的悲伤是如此低调

傻子才会哭闹

就算你发现也好

我想你一定会选择

假装不知道

只怕我自己的掩饰不够好

难道是我对我自己不够好

I just wanna go on my life journey with my own strength & hands...

Labels: The hardest word of all....

♥ My World My Life Stories

21:57

♥ Saturday, June 27, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

Transformers - The Revenge of the Fallen

Oprimus Prime ( The Leader of Autobots)

Yay... I passed my Advance Theory on Friday, i can finally start to go for driving lessons and get myself ready for TP test... hehe.. So excited and happy... My boss and colleagues all bet that i would failed the test because i had 2 tries for the basic..lolx.... Hence, they start betting with each other, Haze & my boss take the bet that i would failed, and i take the bet that i would pass.. hehe..Actually wasn't very confident also when i took the test, i had 6 questions with absolutely no idea what the questions are asking about... lolx.. But then i switch in between mandarin and english then slowly go for the answers and check it through twice.. Lol.. Frankly speaking i don't wanna failed and waste money.. Hence, i tried my best and i did it... hahaha.. pat on my own shoulder...

After the test i went to Vivo and meet Ying and Bryan with my little sis, Lirong... And we caught Transformers - The Revenge of the Fallen.. Thanks to Ying's company and Ying's generosity for the Free tickets.. haha.... The movie was great and very very nice.. Funny at times too.. It does not disappoint me.... haha... I must say it's good... Thumbs up for Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg... Enjoyed the movie very much, though wasn't feeling very well, but i am glad that i went despite the feverish me...

Bumble Bee ( The guardian of Sam Witwicky)

Shia Labeouf as Sam Witwicky

Megan Fox as Mikaela Banes ( Sam's Gf) Isn't she a beauty and Hot.. woo... =Pp

Linkin Park - New Divide

I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me

I remembered each flash as time began to blur

Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me

And your voice was all I heard

Did I get what I deserve?

So give me reason to prove me wrong

To wash this memory clean

Let the thoughts cross the distance in your eyes

Give me reason to fill this up,

Connect the space between

Let it be enough to reach the truth realized

Across this new divide

There was nothing inside, the memories left abandoned

There was nowhere to hide, the ashes fell like snow

And the ground caved in between where we were standing

And your voice was all I heardDid I get what I deserve?

So give me reason to prove me wrong

To wash this memory clean

Let the thoughts cross the distance in your eyes

Across this new divideIn every loss in every lie,

In every truth that you deny

And each regret and each divide

Was some mistake too great to hide

And your voice was all I heard

Did I get what I deserve?

So give me reason to prove me wrong

To wash this memory clean

Let the thoughts cross the distance in your eyes

Give me reason to fill this up,

Connect the space between

Let it be enough to reach the truth realized

Across this New Divide

Been having fever the whole day, since Fri night and also the whole of today.. I hope i did not catch the H1N1 Flu... If not sure have to quarantine already... Because i am having all the symptons, flu, blocked nose, sore throat, fever, body aches, breathlessness.. OMG... Actually, i have been to the Doc on Wed already... i did dutifully take the medicine, however it doesn't really work.. i hope my fever wld subside by tml.. If not, really choy choy ganna the H1N1, i would have to miss Sab's wedding already... Actually, i am so envy of Ying they all, because they're having a beach gathering with her tomolo, and i cannot go cuz i have to go for the wedding.... But i really do hope that i could be there, even if she doesn't talk to me, i am contented just by seeing her, it's homecoming for her summer break.... Haiz, wasted...

But i'm happy to hear that she's back though... Well, enjoy the gathering tomolo.... Recently, there are some bad news for me and on me for work... but i guess i would have to take it in my stride... Afterall, the cards placed on the table are very clear already by the management... But i would endure, grit my teeth and move on till next year when the job market is better.. I would do my best and show them that even though they sacrificed me, i can endure and is capable of proving to them that i can do it... However, i am sad that i wouldn't be under my dearest boss anymore, she's the best boss in the whole world... But i can't be forever under her care and my own comfort zone too... Hence, i would take up the challenge and do her proud... That's the best i can do...

School's starting soon and i'm excited at the same time nervous... I wanna do well and graduate asap... Time is running out for me.. wahaha.. i wanna complete my master by the age of 30... This is my goal and i hope to work towards it.... wish me luck... Anyway, i have heard of Michael Jackson's death.. i wasn't very sure of his songs but definately one that i am very familiar with is " Heal the World" I think that's a great song of his.. Though his plastic surgery failed... but i guess his contribution to the world's pop music is unbeatable and uncomparable... Hence, my tribute to the late pop king, Michael Jackson.. Rest in Peace....

Alright, stopping here today... feeling drowsy, the med effect is here already.... goodnight & Sweet dreams.... =)

Labels: Recent Happenings..

♥ My World My Life Stories

22:59

♥ Saturday, June 20, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

花样男子 - Boys over Flowers 꽃보다 남자 (Kkot-bo-da Nam-ja)

THe Flower 4 ( F4)

F4 & Geum Jan-di (금잔디)

So envy of her surrounded by handsome & cute guys...

I have once again found my most recent new craze... Which is " Boys Over Flowers" ** Screamsssssss** They're so handsome... And i'm so So Sooo soOOoo in love with one of them which is : Kim Hyun-joong 김현중 As "Yoon Ji-hoo" (윤지후). Here's a picture of him in the drama... He's so charming isn't it... Though i do love the main character as well, but sorry i had to admit that i am so mesmerise by him... He's not only handsome, he sang quite well too, one of the drama song was sang by him... damn sad.... I simply just love him, couldn't control and get hold of myself... wahaha... He's just the ideal type of bf that i would dream of... Prince charming of mine.. hehe... It's alright to dream and fantasize right even though i'm reaching 25... Who cares when it comes to handsome and charming guys.. right.. keke... = PppppP

awwWwww...

So Cool..

Allow me to have a short introduction of this drama. The ‘Iconic Love Story’ for those who wish to stay young at heart forever!‘Boys over Flowers’ is the highly anticipated remake of the famous Japanese comic book series. Jan-di, the Heroine, is the poor but bright girl who has a strong sense of justice and full of vitality. She transfers to an exclusive high school where only the rich go. In there, she encounters with the four rich and quirky boys and experiences love and friendship.The storyline illustrates the supreme fantasy that a drama can bring out the most. Each of us probably has an experience of admiring or dreaming of something. The drama ‘Boys over Flowers’ is the concentration of the admirations. - ( Copied from the sypnosis, =P )

I've finished the whole drama already, and i must say it is and was better than the Taiwanese version.. The cast were also used better in terms of looks, and also the lavishness of the whole entire drama... I must say they really throw in big money to make this drama a success... I didn't know that korea have so many handsome guys.. wahaha... as the age of the actors are quite young i guess younger generations of Koreans have grown so high standard... although plastic surgery is very common and easily access to for koreans but i guess they're mostly all genuine ba.. wahaha.. maybe some flaws adjustment that's all?? lol... Anyway, not important for this...

Enjoy some of the photos i loved taken from the drama.... And i highly highly recommend you guys to go watch, damn nice... hahaha.... Enjoy.... =)

Prince Charming!!!!

Isn't they cute?? lolxx

She's so pretty.. i like her since her drama " Hao Jie Chun Xiang"

they made a cute couple isn't it..?? = )

Loved this pic most, so sweet...

Beautiful isn't it.. PS, abit tiny hor...keke

And of course the Happy Ending pose.. =))))

And yes, Happy Daddy's Day, Dad...!!! =) good nites peeps...

Labels: Boys over Flowers - 韩版花样男子..

♥ My World My Life Stories

23:33