I am seriously very very unhappy today, so much so that it has affected my exam... Over the years, my temper has diminish more or less into a calmer state... I wouldn't flare up and showed my temper without any ABC reasons... There are many things and matters i have always got upset, ranted it out and got over with it and pushed it to the back of my head... But this matter that happened this morning, reallly really just cannot get off my chest.. so much so that i wouldn't know if by typing it out here will ease my pain a little...

I admit i ain't no perfect person at all, i do not have the best personality at all... However, there are still some minimal dignity and integrity i would like to preserve... Yes, i have lied to my once best friend before and caused her to leave me out of her life.. But i have to get on with life living and facing this mistake... But ever since that incident, i had no intention of deceiving or making up lies to anyone.. Because i made it a point to not tell lies unless really really no choice to avoid or prevent something bad to happen... i just want to live my life saying as much truth as possible... Never ever would i expect that telling the truth will also get myself in trouble.. Am i really destined to be so suay..

How can i be judged for being a liar and cheat just for the medical bills and that i can be accuse of faking illness just to stay in hospital 1 night and den discharge and so fit to go up to genting and enjoy a whole lot of myself using the granted hospitalisation leave??? Did you all ever thought of my feelings, should i lie and hide abt the fact that i did went up to Genting due to the simplest reason in the world, i do not want to waste the money since doctor discharged me on Saturday.. Is Singapore hospital so easy to check in for 1 night stay to fake illness and i would chose the day before to check-in into hospital just to geng MC and then go up to enjoy myself with the 5 days hospitalisation leave??!! Moreover, why should i put in so much effort to claim for an amount that is no hard cash involved at all... What benefit do i attain from it..???

Just because i did not say that i am going up to Genting and i'll fake illness just to check in to hospital for a 1 night stay.. I applied for leave 2 months ago, HR approved my leave and doctor discharged me on Sat not because i requested to... Having a simple mindset also wrong? Don't want to waste money also wrong.. Just because i went up to Genting and facebook i am tagged with all the photos... I can jolly well lie and hide the whole trip and tell everyone DO NO TAG ME IN FACEBOOK... Hide it up and lie about it will make you all happier?? Lies are nicer to hear than truth???... Being truthful and open also wrong? What is happening to this world? Being accuse and stab this way.. I have smsed and informed YOU, but why stab me at the back this way... YOU knew it right from the beginning and YOU ARE DISAPPOINTED IN ME!!!!!

I shouldn't be suffering for this, but explaining means i'm trying to hide.... I'll have a CLEAR CONSCIENCE for this... " REN ZAI ZUO TIAN ZAI KAN... WO XING DE ZHENG ZHAN DE WEN".... I just can't help but felt pain over this.... Why?!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH............................