My Blog has become a space for me to vent out my emotions.. There are certain things i have no wish to rake it up to anyone's face.. not even to mention telling them how i actually feels... I am definately happy for my frens whom have found their other or achieved certain goals or dreams of their life... However, it is somehow in me that i couldn't persuade myself to go over the hurdle to the other path.. It is still affecting me as much as i am trying to walk out of it..

All these while, i am spending lots of time with pple whom i loved.... going out with them made me so happy yet somehow awkward in another way.. Taking the belated celebration for Nihui & Qibin... i couldn't stop myself from feeling tat there is certainly awkwardness between me and Nihui... and this is the truth, somehow things did happened... and i am already very contented that she's forgiving enough to still see me... i didn't thought that i would still have the chance.. therefore i cherished it more than ever...

Last night, i just dreamt of him once again... all these while, ever since Yee left the country for her studies, the scenarios in my dreams is always the same.... it's been the revolving around the same topic & pple.... And my dreams just keep repeating itself all over again... sometimes i am really afraid of sleeping... not running away from reality, but dreaming of it, really just reminds me of all the pains which i am trying very hard to escape from.... I do not wish to keep going through experiencing the pain all over again and again...

But what else can i do to stop the dreams from coming back.. somehow it made me believe one phrase which my fren mentioned...

" Not all scars can fade, not all pain goes away, not all wounds can heal when it is hidden deep inside you.."

I can't help but felt the same way she does.... My face wouldn't show the scars, wounds & pain, bcuz life has to go on.... the only difference, are you living it happily....

with the days that is getting nearer and nearer that Hua is leaving the country too... the worse torment, she would live quietly without us sending her off.... She just wanna leave the country quietly and at peace... I respsect her decision, bcuz i knew that she does not want teary goodbyes and not want us to see her missed this place called home....

All i could do is to spend as much time with her as i could and also respecting her decision, tat's all within all my means that i could do for her... And i know she definately capable in taking care of herself over there... For my future birthdays, it would not be the same anymore, cuz she would be there to celenbrate for me.. I would never ever ever forget her, be it the long dist.. I would save up and go over to find her whenever i could... In my heart, there would owaes be a place for her... Thank you, Hua.... My Best best tele-pathy pal.... i'll miss you indefinately.... A song for Hua... with my best wishes...

我想要的美好

明知永远到不了

给你一个微笑

但愿你明了

想念已经太美丽

因为曾经拥有你

虽然下颗流星

也要灿烂你的心

答应你我会努力呼吸

让世界知道我多爱你

就算用尽所有力气

留给你最幸福的回忆

答应我好好珍惜自己

让我们毫不遗憾离去

泪光化成满天星星守着你

答应你我会努力呼吸

让世界知道我多爱你

就算用尽所有力气

留给你最幸福的回忆

答应我好好珍惜自己

让我们毫不遗憾离去

泪光化成满天星星守着你

一闪一闪亮晶晶

那是我在对你眨眼睛