Misses
It's miraculously unbelievable... I had the honour of spending the happiest, touching & most unforgettable birthday. Yes, it's my 25th birthday, a quarter of a century when i had stayed alive in this revolving world. I know it's almost a month's late for this post, nonetheless i would still like to relive & keep this lovely memories alive in my heart & my mind. 25 yrs of my life journey, i would say it wasn't easy at all... the downs time i had are so much more than my ups time and i realised it's a very simple word that caused most of my down periods.. " LOVE"
" LOVE" should or could have been a beautiful & touching word, yet i think i had misinterpreted it for the past 25 yrs of my life... That's damn bad for a person whom used a quarter of her life figuring out the meaning.. till now i haven't grasp the meaning yet, and am still trying hard... Hopefully someday, just someday i would be enlightened... I guess i am savouring it somehow... There are alot more to be done for this 4 letters yet with bombastic meaning... =)
Life been pretty hectic & crazy for me the past 1 month... Though tired yet meaningful, letting go of something isn't easy but once you had let go... you would walk like a breeze, i'm smiling now more than ever... I'm happy now with what i have, and i had mustered the courage to leave him a message, though his return msg is cold and normal but i had did my part... so i'm pretty much alright, it wasn't that easy to face up to the fact....
I had great friends around me, though seldom contact i took up the initative to try to like keep in touch with them... I had lost 2, and i don't want to lose anymore of them.. Sometimes though busy, a message of greeting warms up the heart.. Life is as simply as that, i wished i had realised that much much much earlier!!!! What to do, that's life not all times people can see as clearly as they thought so.... i'm evolving, i wanna be that someone not anyone's shadow but just me, as everyone is unique, once i breached trust and it's hard to trust my words but i am human, i do err... What's important is that i want and will not repeat again.. Give me a chance to start afresh and i am treating pple using my heart now, not said in the past i don't, but i had been blinded before....
For the rest of my remaining days in life, give me a chance to start anew, afresh... a crack is always a crack it would not be erased, the only difference is to mend and minimise the gap of the crack.. Sometimes not doing anything beats to doing something, as long as i kept it close to my heart... There's never enough words to describe my feelings, cause it's hard to let it out when you're in my shoes... I would not procastinate anymore, but go on living life to my fullest in my capability... i guess that enough, put down all the unhappiness and pain... in life, what matters most is i am contented & happy.. And never give up on hope... Though the more you hope, there might be more disappointments... disappointments can be accepted but once you live without hope, life is meaningless.. I once did, but now i won't anymore because after 1 down, the next would always be an up... To fall or fail is small matter, what's worse is to fall and not able to get up... I thought i would never be able to get up, though i took a long & hard route i still manage to get up... And the next time i fall, you will see me getting up faster cause i never want history to repeat itself ever again.. that's a promise made to myself that i'll keep as much as the promise of not smoking ever in my life.... i had tried a few puffs, of course that is to experience it but it's not nice.. i meant it..
Alright, got to mug and complete my project today.... I miss beach, but i can't go tomorrow cause i'm going for my pool diving sessions tomorrow hurray... I'm leaving for Tioman next weekend... By then, pple... =))) =PPppP
