It's the time of the year once again... Year ending in another say, 4 days? It's always been a time for self-reflection and to look back what have one been up to... I would say for me, tonight is not the time to reflect, as i just lost one of my next-of-kin a week ago.. My Paternal Grandfather, he passed away peacefully on 18 December 2009.... I was half way working when Dad called me at 4plus in the afternoon and asked me if i was ready to go off... Though i was shocked but i have never expect the news.. it came upon me just in a snap when i'm deeply buried in my heavy workload...
You know, ever since i experienced 2 consecutives deaths in a row of my uncle and dearest brother in Year 1998... I since had developed a phobia with funeral... It wasn't an pleasant experience, of course i knew it very well that death is inevitable for everyone in the whole wide world, but as much as i can avoid it i would try my very best to... When i heard the news from my dad, seriously i do not know how to react at all... Or to say, i did not have any other reaction at all i just continued typing away in my computer. Only after i managed to react over then i realised that i have to face my fear once again... I'm well known for a cry baby, which means be it whatever emotions i had in me, shedding tears is the only way to express myself.. But when i reached the wake, i did not shed a single tears while my aunts, uncles including my dad and granny weeped siliently in between times.. I had the urge to cry but yet i controlled it...
I realised it wasn't easy to stop myself, a crybaby from dropping tears yet i did it... I don't know if that would meant that i had become stronger or just that i just wasn't in the situation yet... but on the day of the send-off no matter how much i had tried to control my tears from dropping, i can't. In my mind, i was reminded of the scene of the day of my brother's send-off... eveything was the same... except that the body inside was my grandpa... it's just so tormenting evey moment to repeat the sad scene... During the send-off, in my mind was full of memories of my childhood times with my grandpa... It just creeped into my mind and started playing on it's own... And also the cruel fact that how much time i have spent with my grandpa when i have grown up...
Whatever it is, Grandpa i'll miss you.... 爷爷，一路走好。。。
Coming back to Xmas.. Spent my Xmas with HIC pals, we organised a cozy little steamboat affair at my house... Food solely prepared by Miss Hua Hua and i am the venue sponsor.. hahaha.... After that, we went to JP to watch "刺陵" by Jay Chou & Lin Chi Ling... personally i felt that the story line is quite good... But i guess others would criticise it as a waste of time and money.. Saturday, i went to Orchard and rebonded my hair... had a new dumb haircut lolxx.... but well it's letting the hairstylist playing with my hair while i'm still considered YOUNG.. hahahaha... =ppPp.... After that, went Kinokuniya to buy my favourite magazines and home sweet home.. After that, went to Mono for Shelly's april fool's day lolxx... ( to celebrate her birthday...) and had a very fun time... particlularly i do not have much to share, work is definately very very very tedious... With more to come.. i'm looking forward to Shan's wedding.. hehe... night... Oh ya, while having fun last night, came across this song which reminds me of our sec school days... A nice song to share...
